I decided today that if I had to wait for every time I had a coherent thought or priceless piece of advice to post a new blog entry, this blog would look. . . well. . . about like it does. As in, I haven’t posted for two months. So all I have today are some random thoughts about the Biggest Loser competition at work that is coming to a close next Friday and my long-standing issue with the “I deserve it” philosophy.
We’ll start with the competition at work. I can’t speak for how everyone else who is participating is doing, but I’ve really enjoyed having some kind of short-term end goal and motivation to keep me on my toes. When you have a looming and untimeable goal like “I want lady abs”, it’s easy to cheat yourself and slack off because you don’t really have rules or parameters. On the other hand, when your end goal is “all I wanna do is *bang, bang, bang, band* and a-*click, ching!* and take ya money” (thanks to MIA for the mission statement there), and you have two months to work as hard as possible, you have not only motivation but a marker that says: someday, this will end. I will not be doing this day in and day out forever.
Well, at least that’s how it started. And now? I have no desire to throw out the hard work I’ve done or the habits I’ve established by mustering my willpower and saying no to heaven only knows how much delicious-looking treat food. So what began as a short-term quest to reign in my diet to a near-perfect state only to win money to buy new clothes is now an awesome habit. That just so happens to be helping me get closer to that abstract goal of getting my lady abs. Win win win.
I can’t say if I’ll win the competition. My starting body fat was likely one of the very lowest to begin with, so in some ways that put me at a disadvantage. But this I do know: I have worked hard. I have eaten better than ever before in my life. I have been prioritizing sleep. I even joined CrossFit with my boyfriend (we’ll be addressing this at length in another post), which I never thought I would ever do. I have had days where I feel like I could do this every day for the rest of forever. And I have had days where I spent hours on foodgawker crying over pictures of cake. Luckily, I’m doing a lot more of the former the further into the competition we get.
So what’s the biggest thing I’ve learned? I’ve learned that people sell themselves short. A lot. I know girls who have no problem getting enough exercise, but they absolutely do not control their eating. I’ve been doing it for a long time. I’ve been a relatively healthy eater for quite some time now, but it’s amazing what the difference is between being a “relatively healthy” eater and a “nearly optimal” eater. I still have more things I could clean up, but I’ve cleaned up a lot over the last couple of months and the results have been so much better than before. Just a little fine-tuning has gone a long way. I feel better. I look better. My skin is nicer. I even smell better, which is totally weird. (Well. . . except for after a workout. I have never smelled/looked worse in my entire life than I do after some CrossFit workouts — I assume that means I’m doing it right).
And here’s the thing that really gets me: most people tell themselves that they deserve the crap that is holding them back because they’ve worked so hard. Or because they’re so stressed out. Or because they’ve had a rough day. You deserve it? Really? You deserve to keep yourself from seeing progress because you want to put something delicious in your mouth, chew a couple of times, and then swallow? Seriously?
Let me tell you something: you don’t deserve it. Nope. Never.
What you deserve is to see the results of the work you put in at the gym. What you deserve is to reap the benefits of all of the rest of your healthy eating choices, instead of having just done all that work to create a buffer. What you deserve is to make progress, not to barely break even or to sabotage yourself. You deserve to feel better, and that ice cream is not going to do it for you. I promise.
So what you really deserve is to accomplish your goals. You deserve to feel healthy and strong and fit and amazing. In short, you deserve so much more than dessert.
At any rate, next Friday we’ll find out if I win. But I already know that my hard work has paid off based on the way I feel and on the way my sexiness has definitely increased over the last 7 or so weeks. But to win the cash would just be the icing on the cake. (Mmmm. . . cake).